Jun 7, 2013

BabyMetal Makes You Want to Get a Vasectomy



Japan is known for a lot of weirdness. From oddball headscratching game shows to kinky porn game shows, when it comes to shocking the media, you can always count on our friends from the Land of the Rising Sun.

I've been reluctantly watching the developments from the dance-infused, heavily choreographed and stunningly brutal (and I don't mean it in a good way) BabyMetal. The outfit made up of three young girls takes the world of bubble gum pop and brings it into the pits of metal hell. The result is not very good I'm afraid. I've heard about them a couple of years ago and never once brought myself to feature them on my, at times, off the wall blog.

Their interpretation of metal is lost in translation, and I'm glad to say that while they are incredibly popular in Japan, they'll never be anything more than a throwaway novelty in North America.

Pop fans will stay clear of the "death-core" parts and true metalheads will simply piss all over this.

This is an epic fail! A gimmick that is worse than any Metallica-parody band I've ever heard.


13 comments:

Anonymous said...

sounds legit and awesome to me though, its made in japan after all...

Anonymous said...

We should take BABYMETAL less seriously, or consider it a novelty...why again? Because Cannibal Corpse is really satanic? Because Alice Cooper isn't just a "heavily choreographed" show? I'm confused by the author's stance.Hey wait...! Let's put on 'Enter the Sandman' and consider Ozzy biting the head off a bat...after all, that's "real metal"...right?
Kitsune Forever.

cmq cmq said...

"This is an epic fail! A gimmick that is worse than any Metallica-parody band I've ever heard"

March 28 2014 Babymetal top iTunes rock chart, announce European tour etc etc guess who's looking stupid now ;)

Anonymous said...

Yes, because popularity is a measurement of quality, hehe. Maybe in your world cmq cmq.

Anonymous said...

I disagree!

Babymetal is the shiznit. And it's clear to me that everyone involved put a lot of time and effort into making Babymetal badass!

This is coming from a long time thrasher. I'm wearing Babymetal out the way I used to wear out Metallica and Slayer back in the 80's

Anonymous said...

I love it, Might be a fad, and I might get burned out on it. But right now I would love to see their tour date inlcude NYC. But then again. I'm allover musically, Versailles quintet, Rammstein, Katatonia, Sleep, Eisbrecher, Evanescence, Ministry, Iron Maiden, Nightwish, to name what's on the current play list. I probably don't fit in the "normal" group either.

Eric Cartman Guy said...

What do you mean worst than a metallica parody band

Anonymous said...

I've been listened to metal for almost fifteen years , my fav bands are death, emperor, slayer and deicide, i also have a old school death/thrash metal band (lyrics about wars, serial killers and antichrist), i look myself as a trve metalhead but god dammit i fuckin love this band, kitsune up lml

Anonymous said...

"Pop fans will stay clear of the "death-core" parts and true metalheads will simply piss all over this. This is an epic fail! A gimmick that is worse than any Metallica-parody band I've ever heard."

It may be too soon to speak, but this band only seems to be getting more popular as time goes on, winning over metal heads and pop fans alike. Time will tell, but you may end up eating those words sir.

Anonymous said...

I'll agree with a fraction of this post. Babymetal is most defiantly a niche group. But unlike other groups ( ladybeard Wtf) for example it works for them. I enjoy this group and they have a pretty large following now a days. J-k pop for the most part is just overproduced factory crap, this has a lot of that as well but it works for them. But I don't expect them to last more than a few years unless they dive deeper into the pits of metal hell

Unknown said...

"while they are incredibly popular in Japan, they'll never be anything more than a throwaway novelty in North America."

2.5 years later, they are the best selling metal artist of april 2016.

No need to justify, I'm laughing at you anyway XD.

Anonymous said...

They are not metal and they are not really a band. They are just some pop-idol kids put together by greedy managers who told them what to sing, wear and how to dance. Nothings comes from their hearts. They would sing anything just to be famous. This is the opposite of metal. They are destroing the genre. The real metal bands don´t need managers who tell them what to do. The real metal bands create and play their own music. Babymetal is the worst pseudoband of all times.

Anonymous said...

Just because its made in Japan doesn't automatically means its great goddamn you fucking weaboos Japans not that good at metal music unlike Norway Norway makes the best metal and baby metal isn't even metal

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