Displaying some skin on an album cover is not a guarantee that it will turn out sexy. Just remember, I could have picked a gazillion sick, sick, SICK gore grind album covers, but I didn't because, well, this is a family-oriented blog.
10. SCORPIONS - Animal Magnetism
Scorps where synonymous with symbols of sex, Klause Meine, cover of Virgin Killers or Lovedrive.
In this case, the dude is about to get blown by a dog. While the doberman watches. Uh! SICK!
9. RAVEN - The Pack is Back
How do you make a successful return? Well, when you were returning in the 80s, you would borrow wardrobe from Manowar. Uhm... what wardrobe?
8. TED NUGENT - Love Grenade
Unless you get a hard-on when you see a gun, or in this case a grenade, there is nothing sexy about Ted Nugent, whether he is on the cover or not.
7. THE GREAT KAT - Bloody Vivaldi
Just because you claim you can shred, doesn't mean you should put your blood soaked saggies on the cover.
6. HAEMOPHAGUS / BONESAW - split
Aaah. Nothing like having a relaxing bath with... AAAAAAAARRRGHH!!!!!
Oh, it's only a rubber duck, phew!
5. DEVOURMENT - Molesting the Decapitated
I can't decide if wearing this shirt or "I fuck on first date" will get you laid faster.
4. RIOT - Narita
I know this album predates Photoshop, but what the fuck!?! You couldn't get the sumo wrestler to sign a release so you had to cover his face with a seal? At least they had the decency to cover his package too.
3. PUNGENT STENCH - Dirty Rhymes and Psychotronic Beats
Virtually every Pungent Stench album was very anti-sexy, this shows the same album cover, but in 4 different versions. I had the bottom left on a cassette. Imagine my surprise when I opened it up and saw those titties inside.
2. MANOWAR - Anthology
Like I said, this blog is family-friendly, so I did you all a favour and I covered up all that pornography on this super UNsexy, but now at least censored cover.
1. SODOM - Til Death Do Us Unite
Viewing pictures of nude pregnant women is a fetish for some, but adding a naked sumo wrestler and a skull to the shot has got to make your bone softer than the latest Stryper album.