Jul 31, 2012

Skull car's cool

If you going to own a hot rod, it may as well be as badass as you can possibly get away with. This one is not quite there yet, but at least the engine bay looks hot. Check out the video.

World's fastest metalhead (in water)

Possibly the fastest metalhead in the world is Germany's Paul Biedermann. This Amon Amarth fan finished 5th in the men's 200 freestyle at the Olympic games with the time 1:45.53.
Let's cheer for the dude in the upcoming events.

On 26 July 2009, Biedermann won the 400 m freestyle final at the 2009 World Championships passing 1500m Olympic champion Oussama Mellouli in the final 50 metres, with a time of 3:40.07, shaving nearly three seconds off his own personal best and bettering Ian Thorpe's 2002 world record by one hundredth of a second.

On 28 July he claimed his second gold in the 200 m freestyle, defeating Michael Phelps in a world record time of 1:42.00 seconds and cutting more than four seconds off of his time since last year. In 2008, Biedermann was ranked 9th in the world in the 200 m freestyle and 21st in the world in the 400 m freestyle.Paul Biedermann is the current world record holder for the Men’s 200 metre freestyle, the Men’s 400 metre freestyle, the Men’s 200 metre freestyle and the Men’s 400 metre freestyle.

Couple refused an apartment for being metalheads

Ultimate-Guitar has posted an article about a married couple, Mike and Lara Crossley, who were refused an apartment after the landlord discovered one of them played in a heavy metal band.

The landlady, Suzanne, verbally agreed to let the couple have the apartment, but looked them up online and changed her mind when she found that Mike played bass in the band Vilipend.

Suzanne wrote an email to explain: "We were quite ready to make a decision in your favour the other night. However, upon investigation of the band Vilipend, it has brought forward some concerns for us.
"We are uncomfortable with the energy that this music manifests."

Mike can't believe the landlady would judge him based on his taste of music, but says it highlights the reality faced by other minorities every day in an interview with Classic Rock.

"The point is not that a couple of twenty-somethings missed out on a decent apartment," he said. "If Lara and I were discriminated against as a dual full-time income, caucasian, middle-class, heterosexual couple with good references and credit checks, imagine the difficult somebody who doesn’t have those advantages must experience."

Jul 30, 2012

Metalcore as described in Urban Dictionary

Somebody asked me recently to describe metalcore. Just so you don't accuse me of abusing that whole genre, I will resort to pulling quotes from the ever popular UrbanDictionary.com instead, ok?

“...lame form of music preferred by young kids who have no clue about real pain but think that dad not buying them an XBOX Elite is the worst thing that ever happened to them...”
“...most of them were wiggers a few years ago. Vocalist of band always has the same pose, mic grip, and stupid look on his face as the vocalist of any other metalcore band. Always cup the mike for growly bits...”
 “...a poor excuse for all metal...”
“...it is said to be derived from hardcore punk and heavy metal, but really sounds like Panic! at the Disco with heavier guitar riffs. The vocalists are usually washed up emos...”
 “...once opened, the shittackular music spewed through the anal leakage which formed shitty bands like as I lay dying and unearth....”
 “...a watered-down form of melodic death metal, due to it's lack of keyboard, less brutal vocals, and overall shorter songs. Listened to by scenester kids, along with deathcore, who are ignorant to it's superior predecessor which originated in Sweden...”

And my fave, written in a form of a dialogue:
- DUDE!!! I was listening to hatebreed!! Thats fuckin sick ass hardcore!!!!! 
No, they're metalcore... 
- No they're not!! Metalcore's bands like the Devil Wears Prada and Killswitch!!! 
Devil Wears Prada is more of a screamo band. Killswitch Engage's melodic metalcore, Hatebreed is regular metalcore, metallic hardcore. 
- Oh... 

Slayer cartoon - Criminally Insane

OK, I gotta admit that throwing the word"adorable" to describe anything metal borderlines with heresy, but I cannot think of a better adjective. My alternate description of this is "purely fuckin' sick".
Watch and enjoy.

Thanks go to David and Dia De Los Muertos.

Nergal, new face of Demon energy drink

Adam "Nergal" Darski, frontman of extreme blackened death outfit Behemoth has become the new spokesman for energy drink called Demon in his native Poland.
Before Nergal could even put his face on the product, the relationship is already causing controversy and backlash in Poland. There are organizations prepared to boycott the launch.

"We want this brand to surprise people while we have fun with marketing communications" - says Marek Sypek, chairman and managing director of Agros-Nova, company said to be licensing the product from the Demon's manufacturer in New Zealand. "We want it to be controversial, but taken with a grain of salt"
Product's logo contains a pentagram and Nergal will be appearing in the advertising campaigns in his Behemoth stage attire. Their slogan is "No Limits - No Laws" will launch a line up that will include four tempting flavors and one low price. With the face of Nergal (known as "Holocausto" in the campaign) who is known for his anti-Christian views and cases of public blasphemy, the manufacturer wants to gain a strong position in a competitive market for energy drinks.

Nergal has reportedly donated a large portion of his earnings from the campaign to DKMS, the world's largest bone marrow donor center whose mission is to save people's lives by registering and motivating stem cell donors over the long run in all corners of the globe.

Read the article here (in Polish)

Jul 29, 2012

Lars Ulrich plays a rusty trombone

The once ingenious Lars Ulrich, these days better known for his big mouth than his drum skills is ready to trade the skins for a trombone. He puts his mouth to the test as he wraps it up on a mouthpiece of a trombone belonging to The Soul Rebels during a rehearsal for Metallica's 30th anniversary week of concerts at The Fillmore in 2011.

He may want to stick to the sticks and skins as he sucks at the rusty trombone as evidenced in the video below.

Metallica stage technicians set on fire

Two members of Metallica's road crew have suffered burns last night (Saturday, July 28) during the opening show of the band's eight-concert run at Palacio de los Deportes in Mexico City.

According to El Universal, while performing "Enter Sandman" towards the end of Metallica's set, one of the flare launchers that was placed on stage failed. Two men came on stage to check what was happening, and a huge flame suddenly appeared, engulfing them. As you can see in the video below, the scenario looks rather chaotic, not at all like an organized series of pyrotechnics.

While James yelled "Stop, stop!", Lars continued to perform complex paradiddles on the snare oblivious to the fact that he's about to get sued by his staffers.

With fire extinguishers, other Metallica technicians came on the stage to help their two colleagues, who were then taken out on stretchers.

After several minutes, the band continued the performance.

(Read the article on Blabbermouth)

Jul 28, 2012

Man rescued after sneaking into Nickelback show

According to The Gauntlet, a New York man had to be rescued after falling into a 40-foot hole while trying to sneak into a Nickelback show. Yes, you read that right, sneaking into, not out of, a Nickelback show.

Kevin Beaudette was taken to Albany Medical Centre for treatment from the injuries he sustained outside of the Performing Arts Centre in Saratoga Springs.

Beaudette was drunk at the time, which explains his poor judgement in bands, and was rescued by the local fire department after medical crews were unable to help.

The Centre's president, Marcia White, said of the incident: "Last evening an individual who appeared to be intoxicated, and who was outside the venue, apparently lost his footing and slipped down the embankment that runs along SPAC's Route 50 parking lot."

For Cannibal Three Course Meal

Not sure I can ever eat using my crappy silverware after seeing this set.

Metal Pony Car

This has got to be one of the coolest metal branded cars ever!
(click to enlarge)

Jul 27, 2012

Afganistan's first metal band

These guys do not sound good at all and although apparently they play some original music, what you are about to hear is a cover song, but that is not important. What's important and very real is that these guys are the first metal bands from Afganistan, where this sort of thing does not go unnoticed or without punishment, so show some respect to your metal brethren District Unknown from a war torn country, as this is fairly historic.

"We live under the constant fear of sudden death," said District Unknown guitarist Qasem Foushanji.

One of District Unknown's songs, "The Beast", has lyrics like: "I scream loud and harsh; For you to run away".

"The beast in the song is fear, and if one can defeat fear then they can make a better reality for themselves," says Pedram Foushanji, Qasem's brother, and band's songwriter and drummer.

Extreme Metal Olympics

Let the jocks enjoy the Olympics in London, and let the bangers enjoy their own type, Extreme Metal Olympics.
Vote for your have band as it faces off against another in this Fantasy Olympics over at Loudwire.
There will be a total of 32 bands in 4 groups of 8.
Vote for your fave band to advance. Here is Group 1.

Nergal lands on the charts of Forbes Magazine

According to Behemoth's Facebook page, the band's frontman Nergal has been named as one of the most valuable Polish stars by FORBES Magazine.

 Commented Nergal: "That's quite unexpected I must say. Excuse my ignorance but to be honest I've never been a FORBES reader and I'm not sure what this is all about… I reckon it's quite an awarding affair though. Anyway, I really hope I'm the first extreme metal musician that has ever appeared in the pages of this elite magazine. Am I?;)"

You're number 1 Nergal! I'm so glad that chick at number 23 got ahead of him. She's far more photogenic. Nergal landed at number 63 and he makes 359,000 złotych?

(Note to self: I need to change my cat's name to something less exquisite)

Olympic Eddie is Epic

Summer Olympics are about to get underway in London this afternoon and Iron Maiden's Eddie is already winning.
Check out this amazing artwork from Stan W. Decker.
You can also check out his portfolio on DeviantArt.com

Jul 26, 2012

Bipolar dude from Shining loves Rihanna

Perhaps it's his schizotherself, but Shining singer Niklas Kvarforth tried to shock the media again by stating that he is a bipolar schizophrenic with a split personality, basically a "blah, blah, blah "I'm a fan of Rihanna" . That's all I read.

Oh, he also wants to cover Michael Jackson songs.
You can read the article on Blabbermouth.

Jul 13, 2012

Quest for the Cheesiest Promo Video (part 2)

Have you ever heard a song on the radio and thought to yourself, "man, this is so bad, I can only imagine what the video for this would look like". Well, this is that video.
The whole idea of THOR was lost on me, it just looked like a perfect opening act for Manowar.
I guess this video seemed like a good idea at the time, but has not aged well. From the cutting edge special effects to the stellar acting and cinematography, looks like these dudes got some help from the porn crew shooting a flick next door.
Pay attention to the battle scenes, a drum solo midway through and the Debbie Does Dallas. Oh, and try not to notice the oiled muscle guy.

How to make extreme metal logo electronically

So, you got a new band and you need a logo.
You could be old school and draw one on paper or use your pirated software and finally put it to some use. Follow these simple how-to steps: (I'm using Adobe Illustrator, but you could use just about anything else, experiment in Word if you'd like)

1. Make a new document and type the name of your band. 

2. Change the font to something metal like Old English.

 3. Under > Filter, choose > Distort & Transform > Pucker & Bloat...

 4. Be sure to move the slider to the left (negative value), otherwise you may get an undesirable effect.

 5. If you can still recognize words in your logo, choose > Distort & Transform > Roughen...

 6. Adjust setting to your preference.

 7. Reverse background colour and text to make it more metal and that's it, your logo is ready.

 Stay tuned for next lesson, in which we will be making an album cover using your new logo.

Jul 12, 2012

Lich King - Black Metal Sucks

You'd think this was a classic thrash band from the 80s, but these dudes, who obviously don't take themselves seriously, released an album called "Super Retro Thrash" in 2011. This little gem appears on the album.
Be sure to read the lyrics AND watch as you listen to this.

(Remember dudes to learn to take a joke or stop visiting sites such as this if you have no sense of humor. May I suggest listening to AC/DC instead?)

Over there in Norway, the churches all burn down
Let's go dress in goth clothes and get painted like a clown
Awesome leather armbands with spikes like two feet long
Hair is parted down the middle, frowning like a frog 
In league with the devil, talking Satan, skulls and hell
Making mommy mad, cause that's original
If you hate good music, then it can't hurt to go
Image-conscious assholes, black metal fashion show 
I hope that you get hit by a bus. Why?
Black metal sucks
Careful not to smear your makeup
You suck
Goth clothes and frowns, just like we discussed
Black metal sucks
Auuuuuuuuuugh What?
You suck 
Blacke Foryst of Despayr, taking photos of the band
Put 'em up on myspace you're the envy of the land
Posing with a battleaxe and grimacing with hate
When you're done with this, figure skating at the lake 
The music is best, it's got the hardest metal sound
Quickly riffing on one note is certain to astound
Dimly echoed drumming and some goat heads to distract
From the terrible screeching that you pass off as your act 
I wish your black clothes would combust. Why?
Black metal sucks
You know what dude, you look like a schmuck
You suck
Singer sounds like a wounded duck
Black metal sucks
I'd rather listen to... us
You suck 
You know how I know you look like a fool?
Lich King rules
We're the best band and we're super cool
We rule
Straight from the 80's and we're old school
Lich King rules
Running out of rhymes, so wading pool
Thrash is the rule

Grave Digger ready to Deutsche your Bag

German heavy/speed/power metal legends Grave Digger got a new one. Nope, not a new album. These oldtimers dug deep in their 80s reserve funds and came up with a 2 in 1 shampoo/shower gel or as Germans would say, Duschgel/Shampoo. Nothing is more metal than cleaning your balls with a shiny aluminum-finished product with a winged skull on it while singing "Headbanging Man" in the shower.

The 2 in 1 product will be manufactured by cosmetic expert Rutano and will be available at the Grave Digger online shop soon.

Wait until Manowar gets a wind of this?

Female fronted Black Metal from Iraq

You read the headline correctly. No mistake here. This may sound like a heresy and grounds for beheading in an islamic country, but to a True Metalhead this sounds not only insanely brave, but worth spreading the news about. Seeds of Iblis hails from Iraq, country where women not only cannot obtain education or even the freedom to move around, but are often subjected to kidnapping, rape and murder. Calling yourself a metal band from Iraq is a challenge, but adding black metal imagery and musical textures and fronting the band with a female is downright insane!

Anahita, bass player, vocalist and lyricist of Seeds of Iblis who screams "Burn the Quran! Burn the fucking Quran!" in one of the songs is one incredibly brave woman. The band is openly against the state and religion and calls themselves Anti-Islamic Black Metal.

They have one EP to their name, released in 2011 "Jihad Against Islam" and are working on a full length. Check out a teaser below, must admit, I had goosebumps all over.

Also read a story on the band and Anahita from The Atlantic.

(Thanks to Madhav for the tip)

Jul 11, 2012

Geoff Tate spits, could end up swallowing

Geoff Tate should consider himself lucky.
As evidenced in a fan-filmmed video clip below, during a show in São Paulo, Brazil, he was caught spiting at his drummer Scott Rockenfield. Had he done this in Prague, he could have been detained and who knows, in jail anything goes, he might have ended up not spitting, but swallowing.

Apparently on that same day, Saturday, April 14, 2012, Geoff spat on Scott before the show begun and confronted Michael Wilton while yelling obscenities and hitting him in the face. No video proof of this event. Remember, this took place in Brazil, not England.

On June 20th, Queensrÿche members announced that they were parting ways with Tate and replacing him with Todd la Torre of Crimson Glory.

In a recent interview with RollingStone.com, Tate revealed that he filed a lawsuit against his former bandmates on June 12 in King County Superior Court in the state of Washington in order to "sort out who is what, and who owns what, and that stuff." Tate is also attempting to get a court injunction against Wilton, Jackson and Rockenfield that would prevent them from using the name Queensrÿche for their new group.

In the video below you can see Tate spitting on his drummer at about 3:58.

(source: Blabbermouth)

Jul 10, 2012

Hagar shows his, while Hetfield's are invisible

Sammy Hagar and James Hetfield vacationing in Hawaii.
James knows how to show the invisible grapefruits pineapples, Hagar needs a lesson.

Jul 9, 2012

Ted Nugent's drummer charged with DUI on a stolen golf cart

Officers working at Nugent's Sunday night concert were told that 55-year-old Mick Brown was intoxicated, had stolen the cart and was driving it recklessly on a foot path. Police say when officers tried to stop the cart, Brown sped past them and shoved a security officer. Two security officers then removed Brown from the cart, and he was arrested.

Brown, of Cave Creek, Arizona, was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, driving to endanger, theft and assault. He was released on $4,000 bail.

(source: Portland Press Herald)

Jul 7, 2012

Former Cro-Mag violently assaults new band members

Cro-Mag Harley Flanagan acted like a caveman and a cannibal in New York last night when he decided to turn up the violence during the CBGB Festival at Webster Hall when he stabbed his former bandmates. Harley not only slashed William Berario, but he also Tysoned him by bitting his cheek. Michael Couls was cut on his arm and stomach during the incident, which happened around 9 p.m.

Harley Flanagan, a founding member of the New York band who has a history of strained relations with newer members, has also been taken to Bellevue Hospital to be treated for a broken leg, according to police sources.

Organizers were forced to cancel the show, which was scheduled to include appearances by SICK OF IT ALL, CRO-MAGS and VISION OF DISORDER — was part of the CBGB Festival, which is featuring musical performances by over 300 artists at venues throughout Manhattan and Brooklyn through Sunday.

See Daily News for more info.

Jul 6, 2012

Top 5 Worst Guitarists Ever

Thanks to UltimateGuitar.com for the laughs.
Hard to argue with their picks. I hope you watch and enjoy. Enjoy? I meant - cringe.

Jul 5, 2012

GWAR frontman brings awareness to Randy Blythe's detention

GWAR frontman Oderus Urangus ditched his stage attire and voiced his concerns as himself, Dave Brockie, about the lack of publicity in a recent Randy Blythe detention in Czech Republic. In a televised plea on WTVR-TV (CBS affiliate) he addressed to those in power stating his concern while mocking the fact that far less talented, yet far better selling acts such as Justin Bieber would likely bring on military intervention in a similar case.

Blythe, 41, is accused of causing the fatal injury that occurred at LAMB OF GOD's May 24, 2010 show in Prague. The singer allegedly either pushed or struck a 19-year-old fan named Daniel N. — a guitarist in a local metal band — and that person died almost a month later of bleeding in the brain.

Randy has been charged with causing "bodily harm of the fourth degree, resulting in the death of a fan" and faces up to 10 years in prison if convicted.
"It takes 10 days to process a bail request?" Brockie said. "I mean, what are they working with, clay tablets, or something? You know, 'Let's get some pack mules and send the clay tablets over to the Minister of Fuddy Duddery."
Watch Brockie voice his opinion on the matter on WTVR-TV.

Meat Loaf sues impersonator for cybersquatting

Real Meat Loaf is suing a Meat Loaf tribute act for squatting on the MeatLoaf.org domain name.
The Pseudo Loaf, who answers to Dean Torkington when he isn’t fronting ‘To Hell and Back: A Tribute to Meat Loaf,’ registered MeatLoaf.org and now the Real Meat Loaf (Marvin Lee Aday, who should have been sued by cattle ranchers some 30 years ago) isn’t impressed and has filed a lawsuit alleging that Torkington scooped it up in bad faith, and according to TMZ, he’s accusing his doppelganger of using “the domain name to mislead and confuse Meat Loaf fans into thinking he’s the real singer.”

Real Loaf is pursuing Pseudo Loaf under the Anticybersquatting Consumer Protection Act; according to his lawsuit, he’s seeking control of the domain and $100,000 in damages.

I guess when your carrier is down the toilet and you can no longer count on another Bat Out of Hell to support your eating habits, suing an impersonator who somehow manages to put meat loaf on a table by impersonating Meat Loaf is the only way to get in the news headlines.

Read the article at UltimateClassicRock.com

Jul 4, 2012

Quest for the Cheesiest Promo Video (part 1)

Imagine for a second that Manowar does not exist and pretend that the 80s where a serious time for mainstream music. Yeah, I know, it's hard to imagine that things could get any cheesier then Manowar and their oiled wrestling uniforms until you realize that a hard rocking band from Minneapolis like Knight Crawler exists.
Everything is here, the lyrics, the visual, the attempt to be serious while providing unintentional laughter for your enjoyment.
According to their bio the band has won numerous awards. They could soon add "The Cheesiest Promo Video" to their arsenal.


Jul 3, 2012

Hipster Black Metal

This is a black metal band. I shit you not!

WARNING: This is not for the faint of heart.
I came across a pretty cool blog that just kinda sits there abandoned, yet it should be updated.
Check out Phlegmatic Metal Dude.

I saw something there I didn't think existed, yet how could I be so naive?
Since there is such a thing as Unblack metal (or Christian Black Metal), why wouldn't there be Hipster Black Metal? Why? Because it sounds too fuckin' stupid, that's why!
Yet, as evidenced in a video below, thanks to a bunch of kids from Brooklyn in a band called Liturgy, such a cultural oxymoron does exist and poses further questions of when are we going to see an offspring of Depressive Black Metal and Glam (fingers crossed for spiked hair with corpse paint) or Progressive Soothing Jazz Pornogrind.

See the video at your own risk. This is way too pretentious for me.

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