Apr 26, 2012

Sexperience. Guide to Groupies according to Steel Panther

OK, so everyone knows that cock rock and true metal don't mix, but uber mockers Steel Panther are a household name here at TrueMetalhead.com and if the tips like the ones in the vid below keep pouring in, I will continue rolling out the welcome carpet, as long as they're willing to munch on it.
Here, for the uninitiated, the dudes from Steel Panther give you a "Guide to Groupies".
Get caught up on terminology and you never wanna get caught with your pants down and a Smart Groupie around.

Apr 21, 2012

Simone gets a stick in her face

OK, Simone Simons is not a hockey player nor is she a porn star, but during a concert in Milan, Italy on April 17th, EPICA singer got some wood on her chin. A drumstick slipped out of Ariën van Weesenbeek's grip and hit her in the face during the band's opening song. The singer briefly left the stage, but quickly returned to complete the song "Monopoly on Truth". Watch the video below. (Incident happens around 6:40)

Apr 20, 2012

Rob Zombie launches comedy series

According to Blabbermouth.net, rocker-turned-director Rob Zombie has joined forces with the newly launched Nerdist Channel to bring you "My Name Is Eugene", a new comedy series.

"My Name Is Eugene" follows the sad and hilarious life of Eugene S. Van Dekak, an angry, sex-starved television repairman living in Eagle Rock, California.

Check out one of the many touching songs he’s written about his lost love Julie in the YouTube clip below.

Apr 19, 2012

Uncle Ted threatens President - will meet Secret Service

Uncle Ted, the brainwashing king of gun propaganda and your rights to kill, has spoken again, and this time, his big mouth has invited the Secret Service to pay him a visit. I will limit my commentary and let you read on and check out the vid and the bottom of the post.

According to The Pulse Of Radio, the Secret Service will meet with Ted Nugent today (April 19) in response to his remarks on April 14 in St. Louis at the National Rifle Association convention. Nugent, who has endorsed Mitt Romney in the general election, said, among other things, "If you don't know that our government is wiping its ass with the constitution, you're living under a rock. . . I'll tell you this right now: if Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year. . . I'm serious. . . Our president, and attorney general, our vice president, Hillary Clinton — they're criminals. We're Americans because we defied the king. . . We are patriots, we are bravehearts. We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November. Any questions?"

Since then, Nugent told conservative radio host Glenn Beck, "We actually have heard from the Secret Service and they have a duty. I support them. I salute them. And I look forward to our meeting tomorrow." Nugent went on to say: "I've never threatened anybody's life in my life. I've never threatened. I don't waste breath threatening."

He went on to joke: "We're going to have a little barbecue get-together. I'm not trying to diminish the seriousness of this, because if the Secret Service are doing it, they are serious. They are dedicated and I will be as polite and supportive as I possibly can be, which will be thoroughly."

Romney spokeswoman Andrea Saul addressed the controversy in a brief statement: "Divisive language is offensive no matter what side of the political aisle it comes from. Mitt Romney believes everyone needs to be civil."

Ted Nugent told The Pulse Of Radio that he can't believe how anything he says seems to be automatically cast in a negative light. "I mean, it's just insanity how they immediately reduce everything I do to homophobic, sexist, racist, and shameless self-promotion," he said.

(see entire post on Blabbermouth)

Apr 17, 2012

Mission to Lars

 Seems like anything related to Metallica has a possibility of gaining audience, making money, getting noticed. In real Metal World it is also a case of lost credibility. Reports of Metallica-related stories, book and even movies are omni-present, here at True Metalhead they are simply exposed and labeled "me-want-some-press".

Here is another Metallica documentary movie. Synopsis is simple. Disabled dude wants to meet Lars so bad he goes on a transatlantic quest to find him. Shouldn't be that hard. Surely the star's house can be seen from a neighbouring galaxy.
Metallica gave us their own Spinal Tap rip-off (Some Kind of Monster), they're working on a Hanna Montana-type 3D adventure.

What's next?
Men's hair restoration clinic on a quest to regrow Lars' mullet?

Apr 16, 2012

Immortal Cake is insane

A girl made this guy a cake for his birthday.
Not just any cake. Just adding "Immortal" takes on a new meaning here.
This guy better marry her.

See more pictures at Metal Sucks.

Hipnotized by stripper Vince Neil falls on stage

The kid in me can never get enough of fart and wiener jokes.
Falling on or off the stage is another subcategory of Must-See.
Check out Motley Crue's aging singer get dizzy, trip and fall in his own strip club right after sticking a dollar in some chick's bra.
Fun begins at 2:30. Don't blink. Bwahahahaha!

Apr 14, 2012

Woman impregnated at Motorhead concert seeks father on Craigslist

If you're a dude with a red Mohawk who recently got lucky at a Motörhead/Megadeth concert in the bathroom at the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago — or if you know a dude who matches such a description — you totally need to keep checking the Missed Connections section on Craigslist. The woman with whom you had an encounter has something that was left behind.

In a post entitled, "Did we hook up at the Megadeth/Motorhead concert? - w4m - 28 (Aragon Ballroom)," an anonymous woman wrote the following post, which is reproduced here in its entirety:

"Me: Blue hair, silver tube top, fishnets, Knee high black biker boots.
You: Red mohawk, black pentagram gauges, viper piercings.

I was grinding on you in the pit, then we went to the bathroom, and got fucked up. You had a nice cock and I was wasted so I let [you] raw dog it in the stall. You were really good and you had to gag me so I would make too much noise.

Anyway I'm pregnant. It's yours. contact me if you want to be part of your child's life.

Any takers? Hey, as long as you get really fucked up, even if you're an ugly sack of shit, you might get lucky again. You just have to be willing to change diapers and you got yourself another date.

Apr 10, 2012

Orion for Metal Fans and Car Nuts

Going to Orion music fest this summer?
If you like Metallica and cars and like keeping money in your pocket, you could end up going in for FREE!

Yes, that's right, if you're into the hot rod and custom scene and you want to display your car or bike there, the band will comp you two passes to the weekend's festivities. Besides being the lead singer of Metallica, James Hetfield is a big car guy. One who wants to share his automotive passion with his legions of fans, hence the Custom Car and Motorcycle Show planned as part of the two-day Orion festival, scheduled for June 23-24 in Atlantic City, NJ.

To stock the 300-plus field of cars and bikes Metallica has planned, they're looking for entries and dangling the aforementioned free tickets as bait. Entry is restricted to 1972 and earlier American models and the deadline is May 15. (Full details are available at the Orion website.) It won't be Pebble Beach, but hey, we're pretty sure there's more fun to be had headbanging to "Metallica" (a.k.a. The Black Album) and "Ride The Lightning," which the band will be performing in their entirety on consecutive nights, than standing around on a golf course in a blue blazer anyway. If Metallica isn't your bag, the Orion festival will also feature performances from acts like the Arctic Monkeys, Avenged Sevenfold, Modest Mouse and comedian Jim Breuer.

One question for Mister Hetfield. Are we going to see any moppets, James?

(Full article on Autoblog.)

Steel Panther on Dancing with The Stars

Steel Panther helping out a clueless Cuban with advice on hairspray, spandex and some fashion tips.
My wife watched this with headphones on while running on a treadmill at the gym and couldn't help to laugh her ass off while others stared. Be careful where you're watching this.

Apr 5, 2012

Euronymous' face could end up on a side of an aircraft

There is a contest in Norway in which the public will vote for their favorite among the country's cultural figures. The winner would have his portrait depicted on one of Norwegian Air's new aircrafts. Among the top 20 is Euronymous, a prominent figure in the Norwegian black metal scene. The infamous MAYHEM musician and martyr whose blown carcass has graced the cover of Dawn of the Black Hearts has many credentials and has become a cultural icon in Norway.
I am shocked and in total disbelief that Varg Vikernes is absent on the top 20 list.
Imagine if it came down the wire and the final showdown was between the two Satanic icons?
At that point you may as well put their faces side by side and fly the plane into the Grønland Church.

(read the story here - it is in Swedish)

Apr 3, 2012

Violence against Metal

According to the Manchester Evening News, a 16-year-old British heavy metal fan was attacked by a gang of up to 15 youths who apparently disapproved of his clothes and long hair. Ben Moores was called "mosher" and "freak" as he was punched and kicked to the ground during the incident, which took place in a town close to where Sophie Lancaster was beaten to death in 2007.

Seven teenagers aged 14-18 were arrested on suspicion of affray in connection with the assault. They were bailed until May 17.

Said Moores: "When they got me on the floor, I thought I was going to die. There was no stopping them — they wouldn't let me up. I had blood all over my face by the end.

"When I was getting kicked and stamped in my head and on my wrists and my hair was being pulled out, there was nothing I could do. Thinking about it now makes me shiver in shock. They were only doing it because of the way I look and because I’ve got long hair and like heavy metal music. It's all because I dress a bit different and have different interests."

Lancaster and her boyfriend were beaten comatose by a gang of youths, because of their goth looks, and Sophie later died from her injuries. This tragedy sent shockwaves throughout the world.

Source: Blabbermouth

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